What Grieving my Mom Means

Grief
Is an albatross
A missing birthday card
Not being able to call when my cat dies
Wondering who will remind me I'm smart
Being jealous of women with mothers
Hating men for not understanding
Looking about 10 years older, overnight
Snapping
Nightmares
A giddy addiction to "Two and a Half Men"
Missing your stuffed cabbage
Wanting to sleep so I can maybe dream of you
Worrying that you didn't need to die that day
Being tired of being sad
Remembering your laugh and your snort
How you made fun of me for not farting
How you were glad I had my cat but he maybe scared you a little
Your flirtatiousness
Your schoolteacher scolding if I used poor grammar
Asking me what a word meant as I learned more of them in grad school
Your tenderness
Your unconditional love

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